I Went to School

So on Tuesday I had my chemo teaching. It’s basically a 1:1 with my Oncologist’s Physician’s Assistant. She literally goes through step by step what is going to happen then writes up a document for me. This includes the 5 medications I will need during the lovely process. This includes drugs for everything from diarrhea, insomnia, sore throat, and of course nausea. The great thing is that before they even start giving me the chemo they will run a cocktail full of pre-drugs to combat all those side effects. I like how they call it a cocktail as if it’s a drink (and we all know I’m a fan of drinks)! They run the first infusion rather slowly because they want to make sure you don’t have any allergic reactions. So I’ll be at the breast cancer center for like 4 hours.  The place where I do my infusions is pretty nice. They have about 10 or 11 semi-private “rooms”. Everyone gets their own TV and there’s a chair for a visitor. I have told my mother than under no circumstance is she allowed to come with me on my first infusion. Don’t get me wrong I Love my mother to death …but she drives me a bit crazy. So my sister has been drafted for the job.

My 10 year high school reunion is on Saturday so I think it’s a good way to wrap up my “normalcy”. I’m not expecting to be housebound once I get started. With that said I do have to be careful about exposing myself to a lot of people. Everyone has germs and with chemo my immune system is going to be lower. Everyone knows i’m big on germs anyway so it’s no biggie for me. I just have to keep the hugs to a minimum. I don’t like handshakes anyway (germs) so that’s cool. So as I’m sitting here typing this post I’m actually at my mom’s doctor visit. The lady next to me sits down and starts coughing. Then she’s hacking and continuing to cough. She’s covering it up as much a possible but come on. So every time she coughs I hold my breath and turn away. Ten minutes later she covers her mouth with a paper towel. I’m going to need the nurses to call her into the office ASAP and get her out of my vicinity. At least I know she’s getting chemo so she’s probably not like sick..sick (or she would be in the hospital). Ohh and as I get home from taking my mom to her appointment I look at my driver front side and someone totally hit my car! Not like a big dent or anything but a scratch and scuff. It looks like I scuffed my shoes up but instead it’s my car..SMH. So now I have to try and see if I can get it buffed out. Seeing that I needed a good wax any we’ll see. Like they say no good deed goes unpunished!

Houston We Have a Date!

After playing let’s make a deal with my Oncologist I have an official start date -- 5/2/12. She of course wanted me to start this week but I have my 10 year reunion so that was a No Go.  Even though I’m cancer free and just doing a preventative measure, it’s not going to be a cake walk. My doctor is optimistic that I’ll handle the side effects like a champ J. I’m doing 4 infusions of Cytoxan and Taxotere, once every three weeks. I don’t have an official end date but I should be done somewhere around August.  When you do Chemo they usually put a port in your body. Think of a port like a direct line to your heart!  Typically the port is put in your chest but mine is going in my arm. You all know I’m fancy and the regular wouldn’t do! My doctor says that it’s a little less invasive this way and wont scar like the one on my arm. So the day before my first session I’ll be getting the port put in.

Yes my hair is going to fall out! I think that’s the suckiest part of this whole situation. The same drugs that kill the Cancer cells also kill good cells hence the hair falling out.  I had a year of I’m not my hair right after I went natural. I just straightened my hair for the first time in over 6 months. So let’s say my hair is going out with a bang, because it looks awesome!  I’m not sure if I will want to wear a wig or what. I have a vague mental plan on what I’m going to do (because you know I love planning), but we’ll see what happens. I watched this video of this lady with a rare type of cancer shaving her hair. With her husband and daughter there to give her kisses and cheer her on it was so sad but cute at the same time.

                Tomorrow I have a busy cancer day. Fills first followed by a “Chemo Teaching”. The teaching is a 1:1 with my doctor’s assistant to discuss what chemo is going to be like and side effects. Of course I’ve already asked if I need to stop doing my nails. .. because that’s what is really important...LOL. In any case my reunion is on Friday so I’m having an AWESOME weekend before everything gets put on a pause for 3 months. It’s not like I can’t go out and etc but when you do chemo your white blood count drops because of the drugs attacking your system. When the count is low you are more susceptible to illnesses. A common cold while you’re on chemo could put you in the hospital. Anyone who knows me knows that I am already careful when it comes to germs. I’ll put another post after I learn more about chemo tomorrow. In the meantime sending lots of love and laughter :). Below is a picture of me after my hair is blown out and pressed.

God is on my Side!

Watching Giuliana and Bill on TV had me thinking about a lot of stuff. For those of you who don’t know the show is about Giuliana from the E network, and the life she has with her husband. Late last year she got diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy which had bad margins then ended up with a bilateral mastectomy (the same thing I did).  A lumpectomy is where they just take the lump out. The “margin” is where the look at the tissue surrounding where the lump was and see if there is any cancer in there. Her margins weren’t good so she had to do more surgery. Giuliana then proceeded to talk about how she was hosting an awards show before surgery and the dress kept slumping down. She was so upset and ended up realizing she was just angry at her boobs. I can say that I never had that feeling. As angry as I was at the whole situation I believe my faith helped me get find acceptance. Every once in again I would look down at them and say REALLY! Like come on ! I distinctly remember when the doctor called to tell me it was cancer. In my mind I was like ok so u have cancer what’s the next step. My faith helped me to have an early understanding. I have always been a believer that God isn’t going to give me anything I can’t handle. I look at some of the ladies on the online discussion boards and some of them are in so much despair. I thank God very day for letting me live another day and finding this thing when I did.

On a side not I got another fill on Monday. It was just as easy at is was the two previous times. We only did 60Cc’s again. The nurse again was so nice and saying how impressed she is with how much skin I have and how good it’s going to look. After the fill I’m a small B now. I can’t help but wonder how many more we have to go. I explained to the nurse that I was a D before all this and she was so shocked. She’s like you have such a small frame for that. I was like umm I used to have more weigh and then when I lost the weight I went down to a C. I think it’s soo funny that she said I have a smaller frame for someone who was a D. I’m like what u see as small I def don’t see. I have body issues but that’s a different story for another day. In any case next time I go in I’m going to ask how many more fills I need. Originally they said from 6-8. However we’re only doing 60 per sitting so I’m not sure how many more I’ll have to do.

I have a meeting with my Oncologist on Thursday to discuss chemo. I was supposed to meet her last week Friday but that didn’t happen because my test results weren’t in.  Of course as they try and re-schedule me the admin picks some random time. I was like ohh that’s not going to work for me. I swear the lady paused as if I was crazy. I was like I have 2 meetings which I can’t move. Not for nothing but don’t call me the day before an appointment and tell me it has to be re-scheduled. I know it’s the oncologist and it’s literally life or death but I’m still living my life here. I’m working, staying involved in my church and living my life until the fullest.

Fill Me Up!

I got my first fill today. Thank the LORD! I didn’t do another post last week because  I was really irked about the fill and other things. . On Wednesday I went in to get my fill and it didn’t happen. The doctor said my range of motion wasn’t good enough so I had to come back on Wednesday. I didn’t even know there was a stipulation to me getting fills. I was so shocked I didn’t even ask him where my range had to be. So I came home and was pissed for a couple of days. All the doctor said was you need to be more diligent with the stretching exercises. Yah ok!  In any case I go in today and the nurse doesn’t even ask my range of motion but starts to tell me about the fill process.

So it all starts with a magnet. Apparently the port on the expander has a magnet which helps the nurses find the insertion point. After they find the insertion point they clean the area and insert the needle. The nurse has two 60cc syringes.  So she pushed the needle into what’s left of my boob and then emptied the syringe into it (not really the boon but the expander). One woman said it was like a science project! My boobs literally grew in front of my eyes. There was no pain (I’m numb on most of my chest area and on the sides), and only a little blood. She put one band aid on each insertion site and then that was it. I’m sure my lovely clinical explanation was very clear to everyone. Just in case it was over anyone’s head I found a You-tube video. The video is animated so no worries about things being graphic. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9B23xnIoTw. I don’t see a big difference since the fill but maybe after the next one or two fills.

 In any case on a side note I love it when ppl tell me I sound good. My response if of course I do! I didn’t have surgery on my throat. If your one of the ppl who has asked me I don’t mind J. I mostly get it from my family. I guess ppl think that just because you had surgery you should be laid up in bed or sound all crappy. I had Cancer but I’m good! People need to remember Cancer is not a death sentence. Notice I said I “had” cancer. My doctors say I’m cancer free so I’m keeping it in the past tense. Even if I lose my hair (Chemo), or feel all crappy I’ll still be me! I’m too cute to be anything but awesome! Thanks for all the support.